Lessons In How To Human (part 1)

Because apparently everyone has forgotten

Today I was driving from Fort Wayne, Indiana to Hammond, Indiana through ridiculous weather when an epiphany struck. I honestly don’t know if it was the music I was listening to or the work I’d been doing all day, or if I had been contemplating my recent vacation. I just know that it was enough to prompt me to grab my work cell and tell Siri to open a voice memo. For anyone who knows me at all that is a HUGE deal. First, I NEVER ask Siri anything, because that bitch doesn’t do anything right. I have Alexa handle everything for me. But at that moment, Alexa was managing my music in the car and my personal cell was dealing with navigation and I wasn’t about to mess with the tunes or the directions in the middle of nowhere Conservativelandia. So work phone and Siri it was. Second, I don’t do voice memos because, well, I just never have. But again, driving. And it was there. And I didn’t want to forget. So here we were. Forging new paths in my life and trying new things as I trekked down highway 30 in the cruddy slush on a Wednesday afternoon so I wouldn’t forget my inspiration and also could continue listening to a most excellent music mix.

I have been attempting to figure out what my focus would be for my Substack, and I realized that I want to use this space to say the things that I don’t generally say to people in public. Here, I am going to say the quiet parts out loud. Starting with giving lessons in how to human, because as I look around, I see that people have apparently forgotten how. Today, I’m going to start with behavior on the internet.

This was prompted by my finding out that one of my favorite people to follow online, Elyse Myers, had removed all of her content from TikTok and posted something stating she was essentially taking a break. The general consensus was that she did so because of pressure to make a statement about her opinions/stance on Gaza. Before typing this up, I checked, and was happy to see that she had not deleted her Facebook content, but she had not posted anything after March 18th… until today. She did not make any statements about why she had a lapse, but she does not owe anyone a reason for anything.

And this is the FIRST LESSON IN BEING HUMAN:

1. Human Beings do not owe other human beings explanations, generally speaking. Content creators in social media are not required to entertain the masses on a schedule. They do not have to give a reason for why they decide to do what they do. They do not have to give a reason for why they stop if they do. They do not have to give their life story. They don’t even have to tell you their real name if they don’t want to. They do not owe anyone anything at all.

2. Public figures are not required to give their opinions on matters in which they do not have any expertise. In many situations, they are better off keeping those opinions to themselves. As a human being member of the general public, it is considered poor form to insist that a public figure tell you what they think about different issues. Life is complicated, and words are hard. And people are extremely cruel and like to take words and phrases and twist them around, especially when they’re related to complex situations. So even if the public figure’s position aligned with what was generally acceptable, someone would likely find a way to make it wrong. Honestly, leave them to give a statement if, and when, they decide they’re ready. And if they don’t ever tell you what they think… don’t worry about it. I can assure you that it will not affect your day to day life in any way, shape or form.

BuT wHaT iF tHeY hAvE tHe WrOnG oPiNiOn?!!>! OMG!!!

Oh, you poor, dear soul. I’m guessing that you are following the content/a fan of the person because you agree with the things they post/say/do. It is most likely that if they were somehow a horrific monster in their beliefs, they would have already expressed them. That’s how these things tend to go. People who are trying to stay on the side of Good and Kind are the ones who generally are also on the side of Quiet. And quite frankly, harassing someone in an attempt to find out their opinion says more about you than it does about them.

Now, remember, there is a time and a place to press for opinions and the truth. There is a time to get angry about things. There is a time to get loud.

But it’s not at the expense of some random stranger on the internet who is only trying to share a bit of themselves and entertain people in this crazy world we live in.

Be kind.

The world is still on fire.

There’s nothing to lose and much to gain in spreading kindness and hope.